Protected: Anatomy Of A 10 Week Old Father
Get In Shape: One Foot In Front Of The Other
Weight loss and Fitness Update:
I took the boy for a run/walk last night in our amazing jogging stroller
(Also, our jogging stroller
I need to get out there and do something every day. This is the best piece of advice I have ever gotten concerning fitness. The other piece of advice that I cherish is that you are not going to lose all the weight over night. You must continue to put “one foot in front of the other” and keep going/never quit. Finally, the ultimate piece of advice: set goals that you can easily obtain (see below).
Here are 7 sure-fire ways to keep yourself motivated while attempting to lose weight and get in shape:
Get Information
There are so many resources online it gets completely overwhelming. I did a search on men’s fitness and found 1.4 million sites. Men’s fitness tips and men’s fitness advice is a manageable 350,000 sites, but still, the advice and guidance is abundant. One point of caution: find a source, or a just couple of them, of information and stick with them. I like Men’s Fitness and AskMen. There are tons of others, but I simply don’t have the time to read all of it.
Set Goals
Make your goals so obscenely easy to attain that they embarrass you to tell friends. Seriously, studies have shown that your brain does not differentiate between easy and hard goals – just success and failure. Make all your goals easy to attain and sooner than you think, your brain will be re-wired to believe that you can attain any goal you set for yourself. One of the biggest hurdles in this process is convincing yourself you can do this. Get out of the way of your own self.
Be Creative
This is essential in my workouts and diet. Change things up as much as you can tolerate. Move from weight lifting to cardio to circuit to hiking outside. As soon as you lose interest and start getting board, you will find yourself looking for excuses to not do it.
Fix the attitude
Even if you have a great attitude about this process, never forget that you always need practice in fine tuning it to perfection. Make this process of weight loss and fitness part of your life – part of who you ARE! This will make it as difficult to miss as skipping that morning coffee. I get real cranky without the morning caffeine and hopefully I will soon feel this way about my fitness routine.
Keep a progress log
Yup, I know I will get pushback here. My wife likes keeping a log on EVERYTHING. I like writing here, so I will do it online at Bushbaker.com. Mostly, guys hate this, but many experts believe it is essential to keep track of your progress to help make changes as needed. My wife uses a log to monitor the boy’s feedings. It has helped us tweak what he needed and we have a perfect weight and healthy young boy. He sleeps through the night now and we credit that log that helped us along the way.
Use reminders
Sticky notes, motivational posters, motivational print outs, pictures of what you want to look like, pictures of yourself that you DON’T want to look like (my favorite) are all good ways to do this. Keep the fact that you are trying to lose weight and get in shape right at the front of your brain. It makes it that much harder to cheat and procrastinate.
Reward yourself
NEVER forget that it is a process. You must train yourself to change your life and rewire the brain to accept this as part of your life. Don’t fight science regardless of silly it may sound. Reward yourself when you reach your ridiculously easy goals. This will reinforce that you are doing the right thing – even if you know you are tricking (training) yourself.
Finally, the main reason I am embarking on this life changing weight loss and fitness regimen is that I love my family. I love them so much that I want to be around for them for a long time. I have had a few friends kick it lately WAY before their time was up. Really good people, great attitudes, just all around good people. They were not taking care of themselves and found out they either had cancer, diabetes, or other weight related things that caused their early departure. This is a nasty piece of reality that forces us to have our own little growth spurts as people…
Oh yeah, I almost forgot my update:
Tuesday was a little better. I did not splurge too much on nasty food and got out with my son for a 2 mile walk/run. He loves it and it’s good for me so I will continue doing this every day – so long as I follow my own advice.
Health And Fitness: Completely Out of Control
Take a peak at my picture on my about page and you can see I am a decent looking guy (nothing special, but nothing horrid either). Go ahead, I’ll wait, but make sure you come back and read the rest…
That picture was taken of me back in 2000. I use it because I was in a great physical condition at the time and feel comfortable with it. Take a look at some of the pics from my recent adoption of my son and you will see that I have completely let myself go. I am ashamed to admit my weight or my physical fitness level on this blog, but I am letting it all hang out.
I recently weighed myself and I am hovering around 250. Since I am only 5’11″, I am bordering on obese. My wife still loves me and my new son is sure to love me. But I really don’t love myself and that has taken its toll on my marraige and will now threaten a future relationship with my son.
So, today is the day that everything changes. You have any idea how many times I said that? If I had a nickel every time…. In this case, though, I am putting this information on this blog and I hope any who read this hold me to task. My future with my family depends on it. I will be enlisting the support of several blogs that I have encountered recently that help with people needing to get themselves on the right path.
Every day, I will have some good content laden posts on all kinds of subjects, but I will also have a post on what I accomplished on my health and fitness. Losing weight is a terrible thing to do and is a wonderful thing to have done. I don’t pretend to ignore this fact, but I think the real trick to permenent weight loss is to make the act of of losing the weight as rewarding as possible. To rewire your circuits in your brain to embrace the journey of the weight loss.
In any event, I hope some people find this information inspiring in some way and want to join me in my quest. Here is what happened yesterday:
Eating:
You don’t EVEN want to know. I am too ashamed to put it here.
Fitness:
Nothing
Today is a new day. Let’s get moving!
The Firm: When A Bribe Is OK
The wife and I were feeding the little guy tonight his feast of 4 solid ounces of stinky, but nutritious formula and on one the local cable stations was the classic movie starring often “silly little man”, but always a great actor, Tom Cruise, in The Firm
At the beginning of the movie, Cruise’s character was interviewing with several law firms after graduating from Harvard Law at the top of his class. When he finally gets to interview with the evil empire out of Memphis, Jerry Hardin’s character, after some intriguing questioning from Cruise, admits he bribed the clerk in the placement office to tell him the highest offer for Cruise and then added 20%.
Now, it might have been the second glass of wine my wife tackled already, but she says, “that is so hot.” She’s kind of spunky over this old guy telling Cruise how he was able to cheat the system. Really? No! Really?
I thought about this for awhile and it became apparent to me that this obvious bad thing, bribing, can not only be OK, but, dare I admit, sexy. I mean who am I argue something that gets the lovely and talented all worked up?
Maybe she was all juiced about the fact that this guy was going to get paid and that these group of old guys were going after him. The chase was on and I think this might have been what did it for her. The idea of being pursued and romanced was definitely a theme in this scene.
When it comes to being pursued and understanding the chase, you know that money always plays a role and using it in a method to give you an unfair advantage to get what you want in the end, is well, capitalism at its finest. And if you were honest with yourself, you would find a way to justify this action in your mind – so long as it is not hurting others in the process.
I know. I will get all kinds of flack over my position on this. I do NOT condone bribery in any way, but used in this way seems not only OK, but actually seems efficient and judicious. It certainly appears to be “hot” – from what I understand.
Gas Prices Are Out of Control: Steps to Saving Money Tomorrow
I was on the road today and found myself looking down at the gas gauge almost immediately. I guess I remember dropping a Benjamin just a few days ago to fill up the family truckster and I’m still pretty pissed about it. Of course, the first thing that came to mind – how can I save money here and share that with the Bushbaker Nation (all 4 of you).
A few of the tips you will not see here is walking, buying a scooter or buying a different ride. All of those, and many more like em, are nice in theory, but not practical for those of us needing to drive 40 miles tomorrow to get to wherever. What you will see is simple changes to driving techniques, automobile tips to get better gas mileage, and tips to filling up at the pump. Fight back tomorrow against high gas prices with some simple changes that can be implemented immediately. And maybe you will only have to part with Grant ($50) instead of those coveted Benji’s ($100). Here are my top ten.
- Drive slower. First on the list since this is what I did today. I set the old cruise control at 65 mph on a busy expressway. There were some people bent about me driving so slow, but I pretty much only care about my wallet at this point. So many people speed aimlessly around and don’t even know why. My slightly slower driving didn’t have a HUGE impact on my gas savings, but every little bit, right?
- Keep tire pressure up. Low pressure on tires means for a slightly better ride since you feel the bumps less, but does horrible things for gas efficiency. Keep the pressure to the recommended tire pressure printed on the side of the tire. This can be a huge saver immediately.
- Find good gas prices. This is the “no freaking kidding” item on this list, but you would be surprised how we pass up a good deal for convenience. Of course, don’t go out of your way for the better price, unless it is HUGE, but do your homework. Visit great internet sites like Gas Buddy and the local Las Vegas Nevada gas price buster site.
- Avoid idling. My wife always says “you use more gas turning the car back on than if you just let it run.” Sorry darling…the experts don’t agree. The experts say that if you are going to idle for more than 30 seconds, it is worth it to turn off the engine. Along the same notion…turn off the air conditioning. Step up and deal with a little warmer weather (unless where you are going requires you to look proper and then you should splurge).
- Anticipate stop signs and lights. There are many offshoots of this, but the general theory is to drive at a constant speed and avoid unnecessary acceleration if you can. Your passengers will thank you and so will your mechanic when it is time to check the pads.
- Take care of your ride. Change the air filter regularly (especially if you live the desert like me). Get regular oil changes and use a fuel injector cleaner. These are all good things to do for your auto anyway so why not do it in the name of saving some scratch?
- Plan your trips in advance. Planning is good. Trust me. If you know exactly where you are going and how to get there, you will not make mistakes and (since we are guys) drive around aimlessly for HOURS instead of asking the homeless guy where the heck you are. The shopping list when going to the grocery store analogy works good here as well.
- Fill up at certain times and days. There was an email that went around the net in October of last year from a petroleum worker. You can read it here. Some good tips and they WILL save you money. Also, I have been told that filling up on Wednesdays is the best day. Prices are the cheapest on this day, but you will only see these savings playing this over the long term.
- Remove unnecessary racks. Three words that should never be put together – ever. But it made the list anyhow. Essentially, remove any drag that could cause your ride to get worse gas mileage.
- Use the cheap stuff. Use the lowest recommended octane in your car. Many vehicles don’t need the more expensive stuff, so don’t think you are doing your sled any better by putting in the higher priced fuel.
I know that when I was driving today to my meeting, I was sickened by the thought my ride was chomping through the fuel like it was going out of style…literally. In my opinion, gas prices are not coming back. They are here to stay and that will change everything from where people live to how they entertain themselves to how they work. Even garbage collection will change…
Identifying a Future Financial Catastrophe
Frugal Dad recently posted on a story from Get Rich Slowly on this topic. I don’t want to comment specifically on the contents of this blogpost – it is heart wrenching and frankly it does not need another blogger chiming in. However, I do encourage you to go to the sites and read what these two great writers have to say on the issue.
Normally, I take a no-nonsense approach to this type of thing. “The parents, kids, friends cousins, etc who are in financial trouble got there because they were not disciplined. They deserve to have some tough times and this is simply God giving them a little growth.” I believe GRS referred to it as “Give up and move on” as to what some of the readers might suggest. It is a VERY tough situation that I have not yet had to deal with in my life, but I am certain it is coming.
The real issue I wanted to address is to how to identify when a family member or friend is heading down this path. If you can identify the behavior, maybe, just maybe, you can help them, or yourself, resolve it before things get crazy. These are not all in-your-face type of behaviors. Some are extremely subtle and very hard to detect
Here is a list of ten dysfunctional money-related behaviors:
- Using money as a mood-changer. Many people use spending money to change their moods after a bad day or family argument, etc. If you get the feeling you are doing this, stop and think before acting. Are you using the purchase to get back at someone? Try to view the situation in a new way. Develop more flexible problem-solving skills.
- We’ll deal with it later. Incurring more debt only puts more financial stress on you to pay more, which is a VERY risky behavior. What would happen if someone lost their job, or got too sick to work? Waiting to deal with issue later could be the kiss of death. As Tony Robbins would say, “kill the monster while it is still young.” Always deal with it head on.
- Till debt do us part. Marriage is tough enough, but when couples get out of control with their finances, it always ends badly. Keeping secrets about how money is spent, or earned, can create havoc and erode trust at home. People differ in their attitudes about budgets, investment style, insurance needs, standard of living, vacations, hobbies, etc. It is important to choose someone from the outset whose values are in sync with yours, or if its too late for that, to have regular discussions about financial priorities and decisions.
- Hidden addictions. This one can be obvious, but oftentimes is not. The internet has changed everything for this one. Shopaholism, gambling and drugs are all well-known addictions and sometimes are easy to spot. They all eat up huge amounts of money and can ruin someone’s life very quickly. But when the internet came into play, things changed for those with addicting personalities. Having the latest gizmo, software, hardware, clothing, etc is now just a click away and can be done VERY discretely.
- Not planning for major purchases or choosing impulsively. Major appliances eventually roll over and die. Replacing these items is costly, but sometimes our emotions take over what could be a rational process. Sometimes, we may feel a sense of entitlement where “only the best will do.” This occurs with items that NEED replacing and items that WANT replacing. Or even worse yet, items we have NO NEED for at all, but all of the sudden are “must haves”.
- Playing rescuer for the financial crises of grown children. This one can be for your grown children or your parents (going the other way.) You might do this because a) you feel you “have to” in order to prevent some catastrophe, or b) because its “what good parents or children do,” or c) because you get a kick out of stepping up to control their lives. In any event, this is a terrible situation to be in and is reminiscent of the post that started this article.
- Not wanting to look in the mailbox. This is my favorite as I have done this like EVERYONE has done this. This head-in-the-sand approach is probably costing you more money because, out of your fears about knowing and looking, you may be missing opportunities to undo the damage, or at least do damage control. Once you take the time to know what you are dealing with, it will be scary but you can adopt a plan of action to curtail new spending, take steps with creditors, pay bills on time to avoid those deathly default rates, etc.
- Letting money “burn a hole in your pocket“. Having money handy is comforting to most people, but before you spend your tax return money, consider letting it “cool off” for awhile, safely parked in a savings account that’s difficult to access. Adopt a time frame where you choose to do nothing. You might find that you actually like saving.
- Emotions about inheritances. An inheritance can elicit powerful feelings ranging from guilt over what you did not do for your parents, to sadness that they did not get to enjoy their own hard-earned money, to fear that you will blow through your inheritance, or feelings of entitlement after having had an unhappy family life. Whatever your case, get sound financial advice from a trusted source. My advice: resist fancy home improvements or any other impulse purchases until the money, and your emotions, “cools off.”
- “I’m going to win Lotto”. Having dreams is a fun thing but if your solution to money stress is to score big at Lotto, you woke up and smoked your breakfast. The reality is that most of us will have to work until we get to retire, and only a tiny percentage of people ever win lotteries. It’s far better to use your wits to plan soundly towards making your retirement dream comfortable.
I think this list is a good one and I am sure there are plenty more. And for the guys reading this, it is very easy for us not to face our fears about this subject, grab a beer and forget about the discussion. DON’T! Get on the horse and tackle this thing if it is close to happening to you. I would say “be a man about it”, but you already know that is the case.