When we brought home little Jackson on April 2, 2007, we were delighted new parents and I had my boy. As a man who wanted children, I was of course biased and wanted a son. I know we are getting a little girl from China when that call comes in (so Daddy will have his little girl), but this adoption was simply a crap shoot. A crap-shoot that I won and got my son.

He is a joy to have and we love him dearly, but we were not prepared for this newborn. I mean we took the classes, waited several years for our child to arrive, prayed continuously, watched all of our friends who were having multiple children, paid our money, submitted ourselves to all the background checks, went through a homestudy with a social worker (3 times) and list goes on and on. Adopting is really tough…

So we bring him home and we start parenting. Sound a little whacked? It is. Anyway, we are 10 weeks into this thing and I can honestly say, there is nothing, whether biological child or not, that prepares you to be a parent. People have kids all the time, but parenting is something totally different. Below is my anatomy of being a father for the first time. My wife was just fine…took to it like a natural. But men simply don’t have this instinct. It is all biological and there is something in women that is not in men.

One more thing before I get into it. When we picked him up, I really felt like a bad person. I looked into his eyes and saw him and felt absolutely nothing for this child. I knew he was ours and we waited a long time for him, but did not feel like he was ours. The love was not there, but after talking to some friends about their own biological children, I felt a TON better that they felt the same thing. Even with their own children, they really didn’t get that bond right away. This is normal guys, so don’t freak out. Once the little ones smile back at you and start really wanting to be with you - EVERYTHING changes!

Week 1
He is a boy, so I can start playing with him right away right? Throw him around and put a glove in his hand and we are good? Of course not. But suffice to say, I really had no idea what I was doing. The wife and I put the crib in our room and woke up on every moan, cry, or silence. We were (I was) a complete wreck. No sleep would have been a step in the right direction. The prodigy woke up every couple of hours looking for food, but I was a man about it and took it like a champ (the wife would say I was a wuss, but I know better).

Week 2
I am still a guy and will take it like a man. I tell my Mom that I want the child on a schedule ASAP so we can get him sleeping through the night. She laughed. Look, I am the boss and I want him sleeping through the night - at least for a few more hours than every 3 hours waking up to crying bloody murder. Nope. Any guys out there expecting or kids on the way, DON’T fight it. Just give in to Mommy and follow her lead. Life will be MUCH better.

He went in for his circumcision during this time. This is NOT fun guys…seriously. You are starting to really care for this child and know that you will do anything for him. Our doctor was amazing and the process was great, but the aftermath was very difficult. You go through about 5 days of a lot of Vaseline and Neosporin. It was painful for him, but even more painful for us. After that fifth day, he was back to normal and his “little guy” looked like it should.

Weeks 3-4
Growth spurts always happen during this time. All the books tell you that they go through growth spurts here. Our guy was no different. He was growing a pound a week. That is crazy. He was eating like nuts and pooping like a winner. One more thing, guys, you will have new words in your vocabularies like poopies and ‘cooking the dookie’ - this last one is my favorite.

He went in for his first month’s vaccination at the end of week 4. He was in a TON of pain after these shots in his thighs. Even more so than the butchering of his manhood during the second week of his life. That seemed to be less painful afterwards. I don’t know why, but again, guys don’t freak out - I heard this was normal. Just keep giving him the infants Tylenol and bare with it. It takes about 24 hours before it subsides and then it is back to “normal” - whatever that is.

Weeks 5-7
Things are starting to get a little better. He is sleeping about 4 hours at a time and the wife and I are now getting into a routine. We are no longer BOTH waking up every time he cries for food and the kid has long been evicted to his own room. He is actually starting to grow out of his infant diapers and eating a ton more as he is in the middle of another mini growth spurt. He is starting to actually recognize our voices and he even smiles like he knows who you are. But he is probably smiling about something he saw or heard 5 minutes ago. He is still a few steps ahead of an amoeba, but that is all about to change.

Weeks 8-10
Here we are, end of week 10 and we both are really falling in love with our son. He is no longer “the child” or “the boy” - he is Jackson and starting to interact a ton more with us. Still nothing too drastic, but we are definately in his top 10 people. And the best of all, we are very lucky here, he is sleeping through the entire night. Goes down at 10 PM and wakes up at 6 AM. He has done this for 4 nights straight and he doesn’t even cry in the morning when he wakes. He just hangs out looking at the ceiling fan. We have made it.

If you did not catch on, the anatomy of the father for the first 10 weeks of my son’s life centered around the sleep deprivation that comes along with it. If you are as lucky as I am and get them sleeping by week 10, count your blessings. Some kids sleep through right away, but those are rare. Some kids take a lot longer. Nothing wrong with the kid - they are just a little different. However, it stinks for the daddy’s (and the mommy’s) out there that have to wake up in the morning and go earn the coin.

In any event, there is nothing ANYONE can tell you that can prepare you for those first 10 weeks. You simply have to live through it to understand what it means. You can’t throw down a six pack at night when you know you will be up at 3 AM feeding the kid. You can’t live like you did. You have to change your life for the short term and that is just fine. You can reclaim your old habits over time. The major disruption is worth it and getting back to your old way of doing things can wait. Without a doubt, it is worth it.

Tags: Adoption, baby, father, sleep deprivation

I promise this is the last post of gushing all over my son, but I wanted to put a special thanks out to my Mom for coming out as quickly as she did and helping out with our new baby, Jackson. This site is going to contain some really cool and useful information about stuff (most of all Las Vegas living and traveling to). If you want to check out the Las Vegas real estate market information just go to the other site maintain.

Now, when my Mom came out, we were brand spanking new parents. Adoptive parents at that! Which essentially means we had NO freaking clue what to do or how to do it. Worse yet, as adoptive parents, we had really no lead time to prepare physically or mentally for this crying baby in the house. My Mom always said she would come out to Vegas immediately upon having a new grandson or granddaughter. She did not let us down and we were VERY happy to have her around.

I have some pictures from her visit. Some she would want on the site and some maybe not. Well, I am putting what I want on here as we all know that the owner can do whatever he wants…

OK, so Mom (Cheryl) comes to Vegas and she immediately shows the new parents how to do it.

Grandma is feeding baby Jackson for the first time. Not sure if this is really the first time or not, but the sake of capturing the moment…here it is…

Grandma enjoying the little guy as much as she can . Grandma slept pretty good while here since Gail and I wanted to get up all night with the little guy. We were learning and didn’t want to miss a moment.

Mom doesn’t like to have her picture taken very much, so we didn’t get too many action shots with her and JD, but more to come at some point.

Enough already with the pics!!!!! But it is precious….check out the tat. Mom got wild at some point and put fresh ink on her arm.

Here is a photo that will be just timeless. This is a great shot and I am really glad I got a snapshot of this absolute great moment.

Another great shot of Grandma Bushbaker taking it all in. This is her third grandson. My brother, Scott, has two boys and you will see much more of them in future posts.

And finally, here is a great little story. You will see on a different post our favorite place in all of Las Vegas is Gordon Biersch at Flamingo and Paradise. This is a picture of the best bartender in town. Does he have the throwing and goofy skills you see for the tourists…I don’t think so, but maybe since I never asked. But he gives the best service in town for the locals and he is absolutely TOP-NOTCH. His partner in crime on Wed and Thurs nights is Billy (not shown). Both of these guys are the best in town and I encourage if you are in Vegas and want to hang with great local people (and some tourists) go see these guys. They are friends and this was a great picture. My Mom was very gracious to allow Gail and I a date night very early in this process. We went and visited our good friends at the bar and stayed for dinner while Grandma watched the little guy. I will never forget it…thanks Mom!

Tags: Adoption, Las Vegas

as very surprised that people are starting to find this blog. Really, I did not expect folks to be TOO interested in hearing about my family and what is happening in my life here in Vegas, but I think there is some fascination with the Vegas life that people like to hear about.

In any event, I was contacted by Larry M. Bushbaker recently. Don’t know who Larry is and when Pete pulled together the family tree, I did not pay attention to learn my family history as well as I should. I feel ashamed by this and will try MUCH harder in the future.

I have not spent as much time on this blog as my other blog, Las Vegas Real Estate Guy. At that site, I have a lot more to write about and say, at least I thought. I will most certainly spend more time creating content and information on this blog in the future. If for no other reason than my Mom has told some of her friends about it and they are paying attention….now I have a reputation to uphold. If they only knew…

I am going to work especially hard in the future to put pictures of my newborn boy here, Jackson. He is a great boy and we are having a lot of fun with him. I promise to put more of him up here….matter of fact, here are some of the prodigy right now. BTW, I am almost certain he said “daddy” the other day. I know at only 8 weeks old, he can’t really talk, but I think he has been watching Stewie on Family Guy. I am pretty sure he said it…

Here are a few recent pics from the little guy:

This is the JD simply saying “I am not sure if this finger is used for Similac dispensing or just for sucking or just…I am not sure…”

This is a great pic of the little man. His skin is glistening…not sure why…since he is a darker skinned young man, he dries out much more than pasty white Mommy and Daddy, so we have to lather him up quite often with lotion…he likes lotion…

His face is all goofy here, but the picture is to die for….LOVE IT!!!!!

Here he is simply saying “call me”. I am sure the next thing out of his mouth will be what Daddy would say as well, “let’s do lunch….you’re buying…” This is true…

Here is our very good friend from California (originally from Detroit). She is a natural, but not sure if children are in her future. Only she can answer that question….

I call this one Happy Alien Baby. Looks kind of like an alien with his big eyes. You know the old question for single guys looking at potentials…bug, mouse or horse? (you need to ask Nathan about it if you don’t know…)

He will be an athlete for certain, but is it too early? I didn’t think so. No objections from Mommy? Then it is settled.

One of my favorite pics of JD. He is sitting there looking at his Daddy definitely saying one of two things “Really daddy?” or “dude, when you gonna lose that shed around your waist?” Time to lose the weight and make sure I am setting the right example.

Another very cool pic. He is still pretty small in this picture, but Mommy loves Jackson…

I am not sure if Auntie Judy would want this pic on the site, but it is here. Auntie Judy was his first visitor from Detroit (except for my Mom of course). Jackson loves his Auntie Judy.

The family cat, Little P, simply says “whatever” to all this baby stuff. He is not amused and since losing Mr. Hobbs, he was #1 in the house. He knows he has been demoted, but still…can’t he care just a little bit???

And finally, my wife pulled together a neat little collage of our photos and put them in this 6 weeks PDF. Pretty cool…check it out…

OK…enough of the kid and other goofy pics. I promise to make this site as informative and interesting as possible. More cool Jackson pics coming though first…

Tags: Adoption, bushbaker, Personal

Last week, Gail had one of her best friends in from Detroit to visit with us.  Her name is Judy and she is truly a great friend of ours.  How good of a friend?  Well, she decided to come into Vegas for 4 days on her own dime to do nothing but come and help out with the new baby and spell Gail and me for some time away from the new guy.

Judy and Gail go way back.  Judy went to school with Gail at Wayne State University and was part of the same fraternity. They became close friends then and never have been anything else.  Her coming into town and staying with us for those 4 days was amazing. 

Imagine coming into Las Vegas, Sin City where there is more to do than there is time, and doing nothing but hang out and help out with our new baby.  As new parents, I can honestly say that the first one is very amazing, but incredibly tiring.  You are constantly wondering if you are doing things right.  If that little grunt he makes just after he eats is only a grunt or there is something wrong.  What if he has gas and we did not burp him correctly or enough?  What if he has a temperature and we just missed it?  What if he did not eat enough?  What if? 

I can not tell you how many sleepless nights I have had since Jackson has come into our lives, but for a few short days, we had some incredible help.  Judy is a great friend and I hope all new parents have this type of friend in their lives. 

Since moving to Vegas, Gail and I don’t really have a lot of close friends and family.  We live in a community that is mostly older folks that don’t want to have anything to do with little ones.  Because of this, we have not gone out much since Jackson’s arrival.  We also don’t have anyone to help with watching him or giving us some time-out. 

The selflessness that comes along with flying in just to be with your friend who has her first child in the house is special – very special indeed. 

Just when Judy left, though, another great friend arrives.  Tarina from Los Angeles came in last night.  Tarina is originally from Detroit as well and she is one of Gail’s other great friends.  Again, she came into town simply to say hello and help out where needed. 

Tarina and Judy are great friends.  I know that if either of these great people ever need anything from me in the future, I will be there.  I got their back, because I know they had mine in time of need. 

Tags: friends, Las Vegas

Here is a post I made on my other blog site, now defunct, www.financialanalysisguy.com.  This is a great post to start this blog out as.  I have included a great picture of me holding my new baby boy, Jackson Daniel Bushbaker.  That’s right.  Little Jack Daniels…

Now, I don’t drink whiskey or bourbon or scotch, so please don’t think I have a fetish or anything.  The name came very simply…let me explain.  We always loved the name J.D. and wanted to name him just J.D., but that didn’t work.  The biological birth mother wanted to name him Mark Daniel. That did not work since I have cousin named Mark…God love Mark, but that was not going to work either.  We always loved the name Jackson and are big fans of the late-great artist Jackson Pollack.  So there we were, in bed talking about picking up our son that afternoon and it hit us - we could have the best of all worlds - J.D.; Jackson; and keeping something from the original birth mother, Daniel.  Thence spawned the name of my prodigy, Jackson Daniel Bushbaker.

In any event, here is the post.  There will be tons more about our adoption, parenting, finances and whatever else Jackson related….can’t wait…

————-

I have not made any posts to this site for a little while due to a recent addition to our family unit.  My wife and I just adopted our first child and little Jackson Daniel made his first appearence with our family on “gotchya day” on April 2nd, 2008. 

We have been in line for a Chinese adoption for over 3 years now and have all but given up hope on that one.  We were caught right in the middle of many different factors coming together at once to cause this to slow down considerably, but that is an entirely different post.  So, my wife and I decided to adopt locally while waiting for the Chinese government to get their collective heads out of their asses and let more of their lost girls get adopted.

So, we went through the full gamet of process to adopt locally - background, financials, fingerprints, home-study, classes, etc.  There is a ton of stuff you have to do, but since we were ready for China, we pretty much had it all done and ready for the local one.  We got in line at the end of December and got our call on March 29, 2008 - the day he was borne. 

What is significant about this is that we were not expecting it.  It was not like we had a mother that picked us or we knew the delivery date or anything.  Nope, there was a baby and it was presented to us.  Talk about stress.  Even more intriguing was the fact that the baby did not meet our criteria for race.  We are both white and this new baby was a mix Hispanic/African-American. 

The wildcard, though, was that the baby was PERFECTLY healthy.  The new baby boy was 6 pounds, 10 ounces and was in perfect health - no drugs, alcohol or smoking.  This was indeed rare.  Babies are rare enough - but a completely healthy one as well.  We jumped at it and it has been GREAT!!! 

Jackson is starting to smile and things are going wonderful.  We are not getting enough sleep, of course, and the wife and I are “negotiating” over shifts.  Awwwww, the fun has begun, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!!!

As a financial analyst, though, the best analogy I have heard for this came from my current boss, Rex.  He said the first 6 months, it is all negative cash flow.  Then the investment really starts producing for you when they start to smile and interact with you.  Then you know where your time and money went…incredible…

Tags: Adoption